Enlace Internacional English- October, 2003

In our relations with others we are used to having conflicts. Are they extraordinary occurrences that happen in our lives or something we all face sooner or later?

We all have experienced conflicts, to a greater or lesser degree. They are not extraordinary occurrences, but a part of daily life. Conflict is natural and inevitable. What varies is the manner in which we face them.

Conflicts occur for an endless number of reasons. There are disagreements about facts or events in a specific situation. There can be conflict in goals or objectives to be pursued or in the way in which something is going to be carried out. There may be discrepancies in people’s values and in their perceptions and approach in handling situations.

There are people who tend to avoid facing conflicts, as conflict gives them a great deal of anxiety and they prefer not even to speak of it. Nevertheless, it is worthwhile to comment that conflicts do not disappear by themselves just by not confronting them... on the contrary, the differences which created the conflict can tend to grow with time and the situation can become even more difficult to solve. For that reason it is best to face these situations and try to resolve them in the best possible way.

Interpersonal conflicts continuing without resolution can contribute in time to the deterioration of the relation we have with a person. It is like a pending account that is there, in one way or another, reminding us we have not handled it, and therefore can affect the way in which we relate to others.

Another situation that occurs when we continue with an unresolved conflict is that new situations can create a cumulative effect over time making it even more difficult to have a good relation with that person. One misunderstanding can lead to another. An experience in which someone did not listen can lead us to not want to communicate our desires in the future.

Let’s look at a different approach to conflict. Some people tend to show a combative style in dealing with it, a style opposite of that mentioned above. In this case a person has the tendency to state her opinions and ideas very quickly, many times without thinking about the consequences. These people can be very emotional and direct, so we always know their desires, nevertheless, by their style they can hurt others and hinder effective communication. These people will achieve better results if they choose words carefully, measure the consequences of actions and reactions, and make an effort to understand the points of view of others.

A third approach is the one that is called collaborative – where individuals do not expect that conflict needs have a winner and a loser. In this situation, each individual or group member is interested in listening to others and seek a common solution. This is the style that enables us to truly solve conflicts and to maintain harmonious relations for ourselves and with others.

"A worldwide movement for a better world has been growing, bringing us hope for a more peaceful, just and sustainable future.

The United Nations has proposed a tangible goal that will help unite our global community and shift our consciousness. The world is joining together to create a Global Ceasefire and humanity's first day of peace in our homes, our communities and between nations on the International Day of Peace, September 21, 2003.

If we can create one day of peace, we will realize that we can work together to create a culture of peace, one day at a time."

A Texas Lawyer Writes (index)
by Jed I. Oliver, 6534 King's Crown, San Antonio, TX 78233

I was reading the Sunday news, and a small article stated that a lady by name of Peace Pilgrim would be speaking at a University Congregational Church just west of University of Texas - Austin campus. The article said that she would speak of resolution, not other means of contention or conflict.

I walked into the church and saw this tennis-shoed, gray-haired lady, appearing about 70-something, and I was immediately spell-bound by her force and her eyes. Her eyes were eyes of knowing. The next day, in my Austin law office, I could not concentrate on anything. So in mid-morning I called the news writer and asked if she knew where I might meet up with Peace Pilgrim again. She knew.

A few minutes later, I was walking out, telling my staff that I would be back sometime in the day. I went to the near-campus place where she was presenting, and at the conclusion, she came to my residence for a few hour's visit.

I returned her to her host/hostess, and asked how, if at all, I could help her or be in her company again. She said that I could pick her up and take her to the Presbyterian Seminary the next day where she was to have lunch with the seminarians and speak or answer questions.

Her host, Peace Pilgrim and I sat at a cafeteria table, and as the first seminarians began to leave, an administrator announced her presence and invited any seminarian over to meet her to discuss with her, or to ask questions. I got the feeling that the seminarians were embarrassed to come to a tennis-shoed lady who was emblazoned with PEACE PILGRIM on her smock. A handful of seminarians dropped by the table. Their questions were complex, compound and intricate.

She answered in completely comprehensive (not partial, not omitting, not deflecting) SIMPLE responses. Being from a wordy profession, I was in deep reverence. The last time that I saw her was a few days later when I had asked her how can I help. She stated that she was on her way to Comfort, Texas, and that if I wanted to, then I could give her a ride. I did.

A few years later, I learned that not long in the past she died in what I heard was a car crash. All of my life one of the most beautiful phrases I had ever heard were those biblical statements of "take no thought of your next meal, for your heavenly Father provides for the birds of the air, how much more so for you?" Also, the Bible joined with "take no thought of what you will wear, for Solomon in all his glory was not more adorned than the Lilies of the Valley, and how much more so are you."

She was the FIRST that I had ever found that lived those scriptures. I asked to give her some money. She said, "No, it would endanger my way." I asked to buy her an extra pair of tennis shoes so that when hers wore out, she would have them. She beautifully laughed and said "No, thank you. All I carry is a comb [a toothbrush, copies of my message and my mail]. That is all I need. When I am hungry I will eat if I am offered. If I am not offered, I won't eat. When I need to get someplace and I am offered a ride, I will accept it. If not, I will walk."

She told me that she had faced a lot of danger, and she stated that each time she would talk to the Christ in that person, and would not talk to the other parts. She said she did that in talking with every person. She related to the Christ within others. What an awesome power she had.

Peace Pilgrim in Africa
By Emmanuel C. Karaka, Tanzania

Peace Pilgrim was first introduced to Mugumu Serengue in November 1993, Tanzania by Rev. Christopher Nyamuma. He formed a committee. Its purpose was to help in translating Peace Pilgrim Books and Steps into Kiswahili, the common language used in most countries in Africa.
The translation group was chosen and I was part of it in 1994. We started translating those books by volunteering ourselves. In 1996 we printed the first Kiswahili edition. 1000 copies of Peace Pilgrim book and 1500 of 'Steps toward Inner Peace' were printed and we distributed these books in Uganda, Kenya and Tanzania.

It was a wonderful experience in my life. Peace Pilgrim’s message transformed my soul and mind while I was translating the books. It taught me how to live a simple life, how to love and care for others, and to build a community based on honesty, respect and inner peace.
Peace Pilgrim’s book in Kiswahili (Msafiri wa Amani) did very well since it was translated and many people could read and understand her words in this language. Many people wrote requesting copies of the book. This is the fact that proves that inner peace is an idea whose time has come.

Actually, I need more books to distribute them to other African countries who use Kiswahili. These are Burundi, Malawi, Madagascar, Congo, Kenya, Somalia and the islands of Comoros.

Welcome (index)

A warm welcome to our newest friends in the Enlace Internacional circle: Sheila Bauza Sanchez, Cuba; Guillermo Calderón, México; Helene Young, Linda Stewart, Elaine Dow, Del Norwood and Lisa Callan, United States; Rodrigo González, Argentina; Susan Barry, United States and England; and Claudio Cesar.

When those visiting to volunteer at the Peace Pilgrim Center gather together with joy at the table to share a delicious vegetarian meal, they start their sharing by lighting a candle in the middle and taking some moments of silence in meditation.

While the candle is being lit usually our host recites in a solemn manner these words of Peace Piilgrim...

English Language Web Edition
October, 2003	Number 29